his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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