This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize