Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
