That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
