last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
