Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
