Whoa Z and x make the same sound
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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