After last night, I could never be a politician.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
