i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
