Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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