If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
