i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
