She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
