so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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