I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
