Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
