Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
