so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
