i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You were trust falling into bushes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
