Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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