woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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