Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I'm having to shit out rocks
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
