yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
