It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
