I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
