hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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