I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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