its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
