I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
