she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
