dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I will be naked everywhere
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
