You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
cat food counts as protein by the way
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
