Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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