Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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