I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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