hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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