it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Randomize
