I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
