I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
