At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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