found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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