i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
accomplished twins. life is a go
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
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