i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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