she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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