There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
