I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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