no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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