do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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