I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Is it penis luge time yet?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize