he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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