Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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