Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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