I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We were destined to go to rehab together
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
