The maid of honor just puked.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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