Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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