I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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