More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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