all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize