So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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