If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
