the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
