My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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